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The Rules of Summer Play
When summer rolls in, the rules of play change.
School year playdates are easy, mandated by a designated start time and end time. Summer playdates are different. They go on. And on. Especially if it’s with kids in your neighborhood. As is the case with Big Guy and his best friend, who happens to be my best friend’s son. When no official mother transportation is required, these soirees are open ended.
In the spirit of the summer winding down, my BFF and I have compiled the following guidelines for summer playdates. So next summer, you can be prepared.
Remember the Forever Factor. Unless your child has some place to be, summer playdates have no official finish time. If you are the kind of mom that after 3 -5 hours, you want your house converted back to pre-play status, establish your time frame in advance. Because if you have in your head a 3 p.m. end time, every second after will feel like an eternity.
The Late Afternoon Manipulation. Playdates that begin in the late afternoon (anytime after 4 p.m.) have high potential of turning into sleepovers. Be aware of this when you schedule. Have your mind already made up because your children will put you on the spot with big eyes and the repetitive “please, please, please, please, please."
Close Friends Preferred. The ideal situation is when you not only like the friend, but the parents of the friend. This helps manage the forever factor as well as any other potential issues that arise during the day.
Many times, a parent will drop a kid off and say, “Treat them as your own." But do they mean it? Your close friends will support you saying "no" to unlimited juice, television and playing with the water hose. In the event that you must yell, there will be no judgment. No worries about being perceived as mean. And yes, I’ve been told I was mean.
Reciprocation. Get excited. This is the good part. Your friend has NO choice but to reciprocate in a reasonable amount of time. Although you are not keeping score, this is a good habit and conducive to the well being of your future friendship. In order for the reciprocation rule to apply, a 3-hour playdate minimum is required.
There is an exception. Any last minute, “can he come over while I run an errand?” is technically called mooching. And, regardless of the number of hours involved, mooching at the last minute qualifies as a full-fledged playdate.
If you are the moocher, be ready to host at a later date. No questions asked. No negotiations allowed. If you are the host, you’ve hit the payback jackpot. Set the number of hours at your discretion.
Be Generous with Food. Speaking of hosting, kids are hungry. Be prepared to be generous with food, especially if it’s you BFF’s kids. You can say no to multiple Gatorades, eating all the $6 packs of blueberries and tree ripe peaches (sorry, groceries are expensive these days). But you are responsible for providing a decent lunch and snacks. Pizza Rolls, peanut butter sandwiches and other quick fixes do count as meals. However, you must be prepared to accommodate a picky eater.
Roughhousing. In my experience, this is a boy thing. After about an hour of a play - just when you think, “Gosh, they’re playing so well!” - the roughhousing will inevitably begin. It usually starts inside when they either get restless or are ready to transition to something new.
Be assured that your first few requests to stop wrestling will be ignored. Perhaps unintentionally. Remember, they’re boys.
Eventually, they will stop. But only temporarily as they move to a new room where the roughhousing will ensue. It will not stop until you transform yourself into crazy, yelling mom and literally kick them out of the house. Then, you will have peace. For a bit.
Rainy Day Warning: The Fort. If you are in the unfortunate position of hosting a playdate on a rainy day, be warned of the fort. I am constantly amazed that even 9- and 10-year-olds like to build forts. It will usually involve every pillow and blanket in your home, anchored by every piece of available furniture in your TV room.
Germaphobs, beware. Because after the boys have rolled around, fought, and “accidentally” snuck food into their masterpiece, you will want to wash everything. Or at least spray it down with Lysol.
Hosting a summer playdate is like a game of Survivor. As the mom in charge, you need to know your game. Be prepared to outwit, outsmart and outplay the kids. Define your boundaries ahead of time. Your kids will have a good time no matter what. They’re kids. The trick is making sure you do.
Stay tuned for sleepover guidelines. We’ll explain the mystery of the dry, unused toothbrush, discuss the misdirection of boys in relation to the toilet (along with the secret unused hand towel), provide strategies for tackling the smelly, moist sock pile at the garage door and cleaning up the tiny, leftover popcorn pieces stuck in your couch cushions.
Illyse appears every Thursday on TriangleMom2Mom.
Illyse Lane
Illyse is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Thursday.
She is currently a stay-at-home mom. She
resides in Raleigh with her husband and two sons, ages 7 and 9.
Originally from New York, Illyse fled the cold to attend Florida State
University. After a brief return to life in the city, she relocated to
Raleigh to work for GE Capital and has never looked back. Illyse is
sure that as long as all the boys in her home continue to speak, she
will have plenty of material to write about.
When summer rolls in, the rules of play change.
School year playdates are easy, mandated by a designated start time and end time. Summer playdates are different. They go on. And on. Especially if it’s with kids in your neighborhood. As is the case with Big Guy and his best friend, who happens to be my best friend’s son. When no official mother transportation is required, these soirees are open ended.
In the spirit of the summer winding down, my BFF and I have compiled the following guidelines for summer playdates. So next summer, you can be prepared.
Remember the Forever Factor. Unless your child has some place to be, summer playdates have no official finish time. If you are the kind of mom that after 3 -5 hours, you want your house converted back to pre-play status, establish your time frame in advance. Because if you have in your head a 3 p.m. end time, every second after will feel like an eternity.
The Late Afternoon Manipulation. Playdates that begin in the late afternoon (anytime after 4 p.m.) have high potential of turning into sleepovers. Be aware of this when you schedule. Have your mind already made up because your children will put you on the spot with big eyes and the repetitive “please, please, please, please, please."
Close Friends Preferred. The ideal situation is when you not only like the friend, but the parents of the friend. This helps manage the forever factor as well as any other potential issues that arise during the day.
Many times, a parent will drop a kid off and say, “Treat them as your own." But do they mean it? Your close friends will support you saying "no" to unlimited juice, television and playing with the water hose. In the event that you must yell, there will be no judgment. No worries about being perceived as mean. And yes, I’ve been told I was mean.
Reciprocation. Get excited. This is the good part. Your friend has NO choice but to reciprocate in a reasonable amount of time. Although you are not keeping score, this is a good habit and conducive to the well being of your future friendship. In order for the reciprocation rule to apply, a 3-hour playdate minimum is required.
There is an exception. Any last minute, “can he come over while I run an errand?” is technically called mooching. And, regardless of the number of hours involved, mooching at the last minute qualifies as a full-fledged playdate.
If you are the moocher, be ready to host at a later date. No questions asked. No negotiations allowed. If you are the host, you’ve hit the payback jackpot. Set the number of hours at your discretion.
Be Generous with Food. Speaking of hosting, kids are hungry. Be prepared to be generous with food, especially if it’s you BFF’s kids. You can say no to multiple Gatorades, eating all the $6 packs of blueberries and tree ripe peaches (sorry, groceries are expensive these days). But you are responsible for providing a decent lunch and snacks. Pizza Rolls, peanut butter sandwiches and other quick fixes do count as meals. However, you must be prepared to accommodate a picky eater.
Roughhousing. In my experience, this is a boy thing. After about an hour of a play - just when you think, “Gosh, they’re playing so well!” - the roughhousing will inevitably begin. It usually starts inside when they either get restless or are ready to transition to something new.
Be assured that your first few requests to stop wrestling will be ignored. Perhaps unintentionally. Remember, they’re boys.
Eventually, they will stop. But only temporarily as they move to a new room where the roughhousing will ensue. It will not stop until you transform yourself into crazy, yelling mom and literally kick them out of the house. Then, you will have peace. For a bit.
Rainy Day Warning: The Fort. If you are in the unfortunate position of hosting a playdate on a rainy day, be warned of the fort. I am constantly amazed that even 9- and 10-year-olds like to build forts. It will usually involve every pillow and blanket in your home, anchored by every piece of available furniture in your TV room.
Germaphobs, beware. Because after the boys have rolled around, fought, and “accidentally” snuck food into their masterpiece, you will want to wash everything. Or at least spray it down with Lysol.
Hosting a summer playdate is like a game of Survivor. As the mom in charge, you need to know your game. Be prepared to outwit, outsmart and outplay the kids. Define your boundaries ahead of time. Your kids will have a good time no matter what. They’re kids. The trick is making sure you do.
Stay tuned for sleepover guidelines. We’ll explain the mystery of the dry, unused toothbrush, discuss the misdirection of boys in relation to the toilet (along with the secret unused hand towel), provide strategies for tackling the smelly, moist sock pile at the garage door and cleaning up the tiny, leftover popcorn pieces stuck in your couch cushions.
Illyse appears every Thursday on TriangleMom2Mom.
Illyse Lane
Illyse is a TriangleMom2Mom featured blogger, appearing every Thursday.
She is currently a stay-at-home mom. She resides in Raleigh with her husband and two sons, ages 7 and 9. Originally from New York, Illyse fled the cold to attend Florida State University. After a brief return to life in the city, she relocated to Raleigh to work for GE Capital and has never looked back. Illyse is sure that as long as all the boys in her home continue to speak, she will have plenty of material to write about.
Comments
Hilarious!! By the way girls build too. They don't call them forts but they also use every available blanket and pillow.
My son and his friend Charlie have been on a continuous playdate for a month. Charlie lives with his Mom in Tampa and comes here for a month each summer to stay with his Dad. It has been wonderful. They are past the roughhousing phase and perfectly capable of entertaining themselves AND getting their own food. I am thinking about suing for custody of Charlie!